It’s really common for expectant moms to choose adoptive parents who live out of state. You might wondering why an expectant mom would choose adoptive parents who live out of state. Here are some reasons why women choose out of state adoptive parents and also, how does this affect the adoption.
Choose adoptive parents who live out of state if you want your child raised in that state
Some expectant moms specifically choose an adoptive family from out of state because they want their child to be raised in that state. This could be true if you want your child raised in a state with particular values. Some women choose parents from out of state because they have family in that state. For instance, I worked with a birth mom who specifically wanted a family from Hawaii. She had extended family in Hawaii. She really appreciated the lifestyle of that state, and she visits there often.
The laws in another state may make the adoption more solid
All state’s adoption laws are different. This includes laws related to how the father’s rights are terminated. In some states, for instance, the law requires that you publish notice about the adoption in the newspaper. This could happen if the baby’s father cannot be located. In other states, the birth father may have very limited rights. For instance, I worked with a birth mother in a state where the father was required to receive notice about the adoption, even though he was violent, in prison and she had a restraining order against him. She chose to work with a family in a state where an unmarried woman does not have to name the father.
Choose adoptive parents who live out of state: you don’t have to give birth there
If you choose a family that lives in a different state, you will still deliver your baby in your home state. The adoptive parents can meet you in person before you deliver, if you wish and if there’s time. They can also travel to your state as soon as go into labor or a few days before your due date, if you wish. The adoption professionals you work with can decide if the adoption will be processed under your home state’s laws or the laws of the adoptive parents’ state. It is rare that an birth mother must go to court for adoption proceedings. This is especially true if the adoption is processed outside of her home state.
If you want an open adoption, you can still choose a family out of your home state
Open adoption is very common, and you don’t have to live near the adoptive parents in order to have a successful open adoption. People are constantly moving and there’s no guarantee that the family you choose will stay where they are geographically. However, keep in mind that most adoptive parents are happy to travel to visit with you, if you wish, and to have you come to them if you want to.
It’s important to choose the right parents for your child. If you know in your heart that you will be more comfortable with a family in your home state, then you should trust your instinct. However, if you are open to adoptive parents out of state, the adoption process can go just as smoothly. The adoptive parents will come to you, and you can still have an open adoption.
If you have questions about what it means to choose an adoptive family out of state, feel free to contact me personally and directly using the contact button below.