I Am Pregnant and Want to Give My Baby Up For Adoption
I get texts and emails from women every day saying “I’m pregnant and want to give my baby up for adoption.” I’ve been helping expectant moms with adoption since 2010, and here are five common topics they want to know more about:
- It’s never too late to make an adoption plan. You can make an adoption plan before birth, at the hospital, and even after you bring baby home.
- You can give a baby up for adoption regardless of how old you are. A minor can give a baby up for adoption.
- An adoption plan can protect your baby from going into foster care. If you make an adoption plan before a state agency is involved, they won’t take the baby into foster care.
- You may be able to place your baby for adoption without the father’s consent. Birth father rights vary from state to state. In many cases, the father’s consent is not required for an adoption.
- Adoptive parents can help with your living expenses while you are pregnant and recovering after delivery. You can accept assistance from adoptive parents for pregnancy related expenses. Selling you baby, however, is against the law.
I’m Megan Cohen and I’m a birth mother and an attorney (read my story here). I started this non-profit, The Adoption Resource Center, to help women who are in the same position I was in several years ago when I placed my son for adoption. Below I explain the five common concerns I just listed. This information is based on my years of experience as both a birth mother and an adoption attorney.
If you are pregnant and want to give your baby up for adoption, it’s not too late!
I have worked with women on an adoption plan when they are on their way to the hospital (one actually delivered her baby in the parking lot!), or even after they deliver their baby. I have helped more than more than one woman who took her baby home from the hospital and after many difficult weeks, realized she wasn’t able or ready to parent.
On the other hand, I’ve helped many women make adoption plans before their baby is born. The process is really simple and straightforward, especially when you work with me. I won’t hand you off to a case worked or some other person who works for me. I work on all of these case myself, personally. You will have me with you every step of the way.
You can give a baby up for adoption regardless of how old you are.
I’ve been helping expectant moms since 2013 to make adoption plans for their unborn babies. I’ve worked with women as young as 14 and as old as 42.
In California, and most other states, a woman can place a baby for adoption regardless of how old she is. Even if she is a minor, she does not have to get her parents’ consent to give her baby up for adoption.
An adoption plan can protect your baby from going into foster care
If you think that a state agency might try to take your baby into foster care due to drug use, an adoption plan may protect you. The earlier you make this plan the better. I have helped several women find families to adopt their drug exposed babies and to ultimately place their baby for adoption.
However, if you make an adoption plan and change your mind and decide to parent, the state agency (child protective services or child and family services) will take the baby into foster care. You can’t make a false plan to prevent a state agency from taking your baby. You have to be sincere about it and committed to following through.
You may be able to place your baby for adoption without the father’s consent.
What this means is that your baby’s father, in many cases, is not required to sign a consent agreeing to the adoption. However, in most cases, the baby’s father is entitled to know you have made an adoption plan. That way, if he wants to hire a lawyer and try to establish parental rights (which is not easy to do), he will have the opportunity to do so. In every case, it’s always important to know who the baby’s father is, if possible. Read more about birth fathers and their rights here.
Adoptive parents can help with your living expenses while you are pregnant and recovering after delivery
Under California law, and most states’ laws, an expectant mom who has made an adoption plan can accept financial assistance from adoptive parents. This assistance is meant to help the mom cover expenses while she is unable to work due to the pregnancy. Adoptive parents also cover any medical expenses, prenatal care, labor and delivery.
It is important to understand that it is illegal in every state to sell your baby. This means that you cannot accept cash, cars, apartments, or other things of tangible value from adoptive parents.
I’ve written a lot about the pros and cons of accepting financial assistance. You can read more about my thoughts on this here.
Whatever your situation, I’m here to help! I created this non-profit with colleagues who share my philosophy about adoption: no woman should ever feel pressured to give a baby up for adoption.
You should carefully consider what’s best for you and for you baby and make the choice that works best for you. I’m ready to answer any questions you have or just to listen, if that’s most helpful to you.
I hope to hear from you soon!