Adoption vs abortion pros and cons
My name is Megan Cohen, and I’m a birth mother. These are my thoughts about adoption vs abortion pros and cons. I was sitting in your position several years ago when I found myself unexpectedly pregnant. I knew I wasn’t ready to parent, so I had to weigh whether adoption or abortion or was right for me.
As you know, there is a lot to consider about adoption vs abortion pros and cons. The most important thing is that you make the choice for yourself. Don’t let anyone influence you. When your friends and family have forgotten all about the difficult decision you made, you will be thinking about and living with your choice.
I’ve been reading a lot about adoption vs abortion on the internet. It’s clear that adoption agencies and other adoption professionals want you to think that adoption is an easy and positive option, that adoption creates a better future for everyone. I don’t believe this is always true, even though adoption absolutely can be the right choice for many women (It was for me! Read my story here).
Here’s what you really need to think about in terms of adoption vs abortion pros and cons.
Abortion is final and is a quick resolution to your problem, adoption is a journey
When you choose abortion, the pregnancy is terminated quickly. Some women have medical complications after an abortion, but the majority do not as long as a qualified medical professional performs the procedure. You will likely recover quickly and be back to your normal activities within a few days. Many women move on from an abortion without any psychological or mental harm as well.
If you choose adoption, you will carry your pregnancy to term, give birth, and place your baby with the wonderful family you have personally chosen. Typically the baby will be discharged from the hospital directly to the adoptive parents. You may choose to have an open adoption with the family so you can watch your baby grow and thrive. The father may or may not be involved in the adoption, but his rights will have to be terminated.
Adoption is obviously a longer process than abortion, but for some women, that process becomes a life journey and learning experience. Many find that they grow and change in very positive ways when they make this choice.
Abortion is confidential. Adoption is confidential but your pregnancy probably isn’t.
It’s true that the adoption process is confidential. Adoption cases are always confidential when it comes to the courts. However, carrying a pregnancy to term is not confidential. There’s always at least one person who knows about the pregnancy, and frequently there are many who know about the pregnancy. Once others know, there’s little if anything you can do to keep them from talking about it. In this way, because the pregnancy isn’t confidential, the fact of the adoption may be more obvious.
If you have an abortion, the medical professionals are bound by law to keep this confidential. The procedure is performed before the pregnancy is showing and frequently before you’ve told anyone about the pregnancy. In this way, abortion is more confidential the adoption.
Adoption and abortion can both come with regret. What can you live with?
Frequently regret comes from our values, morals, and religious beliefs. In my experience, women regret their abortions more often than they regret placing their child for adoption. Abortion can leave some “what if” questions unanswered. When women go on to have other children, they sometimes wonder about the pregnancy they terminated.
Adoption can come with a different type of regret. When women feel regret in the context of adoption, it’s usually because they regret the choices they made that led to the unplanned pregnancy. They don’t necessary regret the fact of the adoption itself.
The best advice I can give you regarding adoption vs abortion pros and cons is to trust your gut
I have been in your shoes and counseled many women just like you. In my heart I believe you have to trust your instincts. I think that most women know what they are capable of and what they can live with. I encourage you to listen to this voice and to your heart and make your choice from that place. Don’t choose adoption or abortion because you read something on the internet. The information you are finding may be biased.
If you want someone to talk to I’m here for you. Use the contact options on this page to reach out to me personally and immediately. I’m happy to just listen if that’s most helpful to you. I hope to hear from you soon!