If you think you want to place a baby for adoption in San Antonio Texas, I can help. I am an adoption attorney and a birth mother. Our nonprofit, The Adoption Resource Center, is one of the most trusted nonprofits in the country. I have personally worked with several pregnant women in Texas who placed their baby for adoption. I can help you too!
Place A Baby For Adoption In San Antonio Texas
In this article I want to tell you a story about a young pregnant mom who chose adoption in San Antonio Texas. When you read this story, I hope you will better understand what it’s like to work with me. Sometimes teenaged expectant moms are anxious to talk with someone about the unplanned pregnancy. They hope that they can go through pregnancy, labor and delivery on their own without having to deal with other people and talking about it. While this might work for some women, I have found that it’s usually a better choice, especially for teenage moms, to involve support people. Especially their parents, if possible. Brooke’s story below is a perfect example of this (names have been changed).
You are welcome to reach out to me anytime using the contact options on this page. I’m happy to help you place your baby for adoption, or just to listen if that’s what you need. My services are absolutely free!
Brooke’s Boyfriend Reached Out To Me First
I’m always a little cautious when I hear from a birth father who says that his girlfriend wants to place their unborn baby for adoption. The reason I’m cautious is that my first question is why his girlfriend didn’t reach out to me directly. Is he pressuring her to do an adoption? Does she even know that he’s calling me asking for adoption information?
In this case, Darin (age 19) was very involved in the pregnancy and told me right up front that Brooke had severe social anxiety. One of the first things he said was that he knew I’d need to talk with Brooke and that she would be willing but she was very nervous. He said that Brooke was also scared that I would judge her because she hadn’t received any prenatal care. Brooke was only 17 years old and worried that a minor couldn’t place a baby for adoption.
Darin also said that Brooke’s parents didn’t know about the pregnancy. Brooke was afraid that somehow I would figure out who she was and tell her parents. So, they thought it was a good idea for Darin to contact me first. I told Darin that I was ready to help in whatever way felt most comfortable to them. I assured him that our conversations were confidential and that they didn’t have to share any information they didn’t want to. Under no circumstances would I contact either of their parents, even if I knew who they were. They would decide when their parents would learn about the pregnancy, if at all.
After listening in on my conversation with Darin, Brooke was quickly comfortable with the idea of talking to me by phone. We started with her questions and concerns and why she was choosing adoption. This led us to other topics that I thought were most important.
Helping Brooke Understand Why She Needed to Involve Her Parents
Brooke had concerns about insurance and prenatal care, and I made it clear that we could figure all of these things out. I explained that, in my opinion, this wasn’t the biggest issue. I told Brooke that I felt she needed to tell at least one of her parents about the pregnancy. She was terrified of the confrontation, so we talked through it.
Brooke’s biggest fear was letting her parents down. I explained to her that whatever her parents were going to feel was on them. You can’t totally predict how someone will respond to difficult news, and frequently people surprise you. Especially the people who love you the most. What I wanted most for Brooke was the support of her parents. While they would likely be angry, frustrated, disappointed, all of those hard things, I also felt that they would want to make sure she was okay. Given my experience with young moms and their parents, I felt it was most likely that they would eventually be supportive.
Most important, I wanted her parents involved to help Brooke understand what her options were. Adoption seems like the easy choice, but that’s not always the case. She needed to understand from her parents whether they would help her if she wanted to parent, or at least to know if that was an option. I felt they deserved a chance to weigh in on that. It was also important that they be there for her through labor and delivery (she was due in about two weeks!). What if there were complications? Who would make decisions for her? More important, I wanted her to have their support as she processed emotions, should she choose adoption.
Why Her Parents Didn’t Know Brooke Was Pregnant
As hard as this may be to believe, many women are able to hide their pregnancies. Some don’t show until the very end, and others, because of body type, don’t show much at all. I have worked with women like this before. One thing I told Brooke was that there was a good chance that her parents knew she was pregnant and were waiting for her to say something. I know that sounds far-fetched, but I’ve seen this happen. Parents who don’t talk with their kids about sex (Brooke’s didn’t) or drugs or other things that make them uncomfortable, probably won’t bring up the topic until they have to. Asking your daughter if she’s pregnant would be really hard for parents who avoid confrontation and have never talked with their daughter about sex.
Brooke was absolutely confident that they didn’t know and that she was very good about hiding her pregnancy, proud of it really.
Can You Guess When Brooke Finally Told Her Parents She Was Pregnant?
If you guessed that she told them on the way to the hospital, you’d be right! Brooke waited until the very last minute to tell her parents. Her water broke and she was in labor. She told her mom she thought she had appendicitis (I’m laughing as I write this!) and needed a ride to the emergency room. Her mom called an ambulance! In the ambulance the EMT asked if she was pregnant and Brooke said yes (duh!).
Of course her mom was shocked, disappointed, and NOT speechless. After giving Brooke a piece of her mind, Mom went into Mom mode. And admitted that she thought Brooke was probably pregnant but was in denial about it.
Choosing An Adoptive Family
One amazing thing that came out of Brooke sharing the experience with her parents is that Brooke, Darin and Brooke’s parents (Darin never told his parents about the pregnancy) chose the adoptive family together. Brooke said this gave her so much confidence that adoption was the right choice. She appreciated having her parents’ validation not just about choosing adoption, but also about the couple she chose.
The couple had been waiting for years to adopt and didn’t have other children. They flew to Texas from California and made it before anyone was discharged from the hospital. Brooke and her family were able to spend time with the adoptive family at the hospital. The couple stayed in Texas for two weeks after baby was discharged so they could spend time getting to know Brooke and Darin. They also wanted to give Brooke an opportunity to spend time with the baby if she wanted. It turned out to be a really amazing match!
Should You Tell Your Parents You’re Considering Adoption?
What I hope you learn from this story is that if you’re considering adoption, being able to talk about it is really important. This includes talking with your baby’s father, talking with an adoption professional, and especially talking with the people you love and trust most. This may be a friend or family member or other trusted adult. They might not agree with your decisions, but chances are that the people who love you will want to know that you are going to be okay. They will likely respect you for making an informed and probably difficult choice. Having their support through pregnancy, labor and delivery, and beyond, can be critical to a birth mother’s ability to heal and move forward. It might be scary at first, but once you get past that scary hurdle, things might just work out.
If you are thinking about adoption and have hurdles you need help getting over, I’m to help as you decide what’s best for you and your baby. Use the contact options on this page to reach out directly to me. I can help!