Flavian, age 21, Alabama

Pregnant in college: what to do?  This is Flavian’s story.

My name is Flavian Owiti.  This is my story.

Women from Kenya in Alabama decides to do Open Adoption
Birth mother Flavian placed her son for adoption in 2012

I was granted a visa to go to America in the year May 2011. It was a new adventure and I got excited. I was enthusiastic about my new environment.

Later that year in spring I found out I was pregnant. I started feeling weird and decided to go for a normal check-up at the school infirmary. That’s when the nurse told she thought I was pregnant, judging by what I was feeling, but she’d run some tests just to confirm her thoughts. I remember sitting in that room alone and convincing myself I couldn’t be pregnant because I had also taken the morning after pill. I never thought I would be pregnant in college. The nurse came back and told me the tests were positive.  She had three options for me. 1. Raise the baby 2. Abort the baby 3.  Give the baby up for adoption.

I was pregnant in college in a foreign country so I panicked.  That’s where my dilemma began.

My world just went dark when I found out I was pregnant. It was scary thinking how I would break the news to the father. It was hard to be pregnant in college, so I finished the semester and went back to Huntsville Alabama where my sister was residing at the time.

I broke the news to the father and the first thing he suggested was abortion. He wasn’t willing to explore the other options. So I decided to make up my mind without his help and without any pressure.  For two weeks I spent thinking and thinking.  I had the option of getting rid of this baby forming inside of me or give it for adoption, as the option of keeping it wasn’t mine at all. I decided to go with what the father wanted, abortion, and he even escorted me to the clinic suggested by the school.

It is while in that clinic when a sense of guilt–the one that numbs you– hit me.

While at the clinic, I took blood tests, and other tests they needed.  According to their protocol, day one is for running tests and taking the ultra sound.  Day two is when the procedure is done.  After he father dropped me at home, I remember I decided to pray because I hadn’t slept in days because of thinking. I had to decide soon, for my life depended on it.

That’s where my adoption process began.

I decided to look up some sites for adoption centers, and that’s where I came across Megan Cohen. I filled my information and in a short while I was contacted by Megan Cohen.  She spoke softly and gently and asked me why I wanted to do an adoption and if I had thought of raising the child. We talked for a while, and when we concluded, I decided that we should proceed with the process. I had given Megan a brief summary of the important things to seek when linking me with parents, the most important was that they were Christian.

Megan introduced me to Alicia and James and that is how our journey began.

I never paid for anything and neither was I paid.  It was an act of giving and choosing the right path. In the midst of my adoption process I met a amazing people, including a family (Susan and Doug Ross) who hosted me in their home for the months before I delivered and traveled back home to my country. I met them through Alicia and James, and they were the most wonderful and kind and generous people to me.  On May 3 2012 I gave birth to a beautiful and bouncing baby boy and gave him to Alicia and James.

I am blessed to have known Megan Cohen and I pray we meet again in the future. I want to thank her in person for giving young mothers like me hope.

Love always,

Flavian Owiti

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